Some Lighter Fare

Don't you hate it when you get itchy leg bones at night right as you're trying to fall asleep?
Don't you hate it when you remember that one simply horrifying thing you did that was super embarrassing all those years ago, right as you're trying to fall asleep?
Don't you hate it when you think of a really great plot twist for your new book right as you're trying to fall asleep?
Don't you hate it when you remember that you forgot to put cream cheese and bananas on the grocery list right as you're trying to fall asleep?
Don't you hate it when you have to readjust your position about eighty thousand million times because you can. not. get. comfy. right as you're trying to fall asleep?
Don't you hate it when your jammies are all twisted around you and the sheets are all ker-skittled and the covers don't cover anymore because you won't stop flopping like a fish, right as you're trying to fall asleep?
Don't you hate it when the air conditioning comes on and wooshes right up your dried-out sinus cavity right as you're trying to fall asleep?

Don't you hate it when your upstairs neighbor goes thumping around the room like a line backer stamping out fire ants, and then you remember that you haven't had an upstairs neighbor since August, right as you're trying to fall asleep?


...and don't you just really really really just hate it
with the fire of a thousand suns,
when the alarm goes off
right as you're just about to fall asleep?


Yeah.  Me too.