Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I'm not going to call it a BAD day.

...I'm just going to tell myself that tomorrow is another day.

Kitteh woke me up this morning. She was chewing on my necklaces and rummaging around in my pile of (okay, I get it) un-put-away-socks. She was attempting to jump onto things well out of her reach and settle on things well beyond bearing her extra weight.

CAT! I said, with thunder in my voice. OUT! as I raised myself from my slumber, flung the already half-open door wide open and pointed my right arm furiously out into the hallway.

All I saw was a happy, stick-straight-tail of fluff bounding down the hallway with gurgling chirps rolling behind it.

Crawling BACK into bed, I wondered: today. what else, lo, be in store?

This is what:
1) alarmclock flashing. hmm. powerbump? amIlate?
--not late. battery operated alarm working just fine.

2) stepping into shower. hmm. was the ledge this high before?
-- yes. yes it was. but my bruised shins and graceless kerflump into the tub suggest otherwise.

3) milk. we are out.

4) kitty staring intently at spot on carpet. is it deadly?
--spider is now dead. not deadly.

5) fruitjuice on floor. will it stain?
--no. except for that spot where I ended up coincidentally also grinding in the spider carcass.

6) pants. will they fit?
-- yes! huzzah!

7) tops. will they fit?
--yes! huzzah! wait... is that... MY belly? dammit. dammit. dammit. go find something less form fitting.

8) shoes. do they match?
--yes. but interestingly, bruised shins make for wobbly steps in heels.

9) ankle. twisted?
-- no. just scared, angry and pissed off.

10) car. gas?

11) sunglasses. on?
-- no. dammit. they must be back in the apartment. (search). oh look, they were in my purse all along. (return to car)

12) late. am I going to be it?
-- not yet. but it's going to be close.

13) lot at metro station. full?
--oh my yes, yes it is, look there they won't let another soul in. Why that parking lot is just as full as full could be. Yessirree. Full to the gills, that one is. Yup. I'm not getting in there, no way no how. *tight-lipped head shake*
--see also: lengthy thread of filthy swears

14) GPS. Can you find the other station that they say is available with parking spaces?
-- yes. please drive west 400 miles, south about three hours, and then take a sharp left at the popeyes chicken.

15) GPS. why are you trying to kill me?
--because I can.

16) Work: lateness. I haz it.

17) Shame: calling it in on day three. Le Suck

18) Totally understanding kickass boss: mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah.
--I'll try again tomorrow. and instead of just the afternoon I'll get in at around 10am for the whole day.

but wait! it's not over!

19)drive home in shame. WHERE ARE MY APARTMENT KEYS?
-- shit shit shit shit shit. scour car. scour pavement. scour car again. scour pockets.
20) purse. Oh look, here are my keys.
21) ded. Lo. For I am It.

So yeah.
1:30 and today has been a little bit harrowing. Also it's eighty degrees out and I'm wearing cordoroys because they're off-white and they fit. Thanks to supergal, I have some great kickass SKIRTS to wear but I'm not emotionally prepared to bring the sideshow that is ME out into the world in a skirt just yet.

I need like, one more week.

Home. I miss it.

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