Thursday, August 7, 2008


Well. Here I am again.

Still unemployed - for the most part.

I did a temp gig this week (and half of last). It payed miserably and was mind-numbingly robotic. I also was privileged to sit through not one, not two, but three 15 minute long lectures from my idiot assignment-giver about how to put files in alphabetical order. And you know, how sometimes the file numbers are numbers and sometimes they're like, alphanumerical. THAT means it's letters AND numbers, you see. And so then you have to put the letters ones in order and then the numbers ones. SO like the "A" comes first and then like the "B" goes in and then the numbers go higher as you go. Not that I ever got it wrong to begin with - certainly not. She just felt compelled to remind me for three mornings in a row what my task was and how exactly to go about it without lighting myself on fire or eating large quantities of paste.

I empathized with foot-gnawing coyotes and foxes.

Wow- I thought to myself. She really thinks I'm dumb. Like, dumb-dumb. Like, drowning in the rain dumb. She thinks I'm dumber than a box of hair. Then she upped the ante with a day of oohing and aahing over a freehand drawing done by one of her loudmouthed coworker flirts (a dude). OH, he's so talented and he should, like, "do art" or something because he's just SOOOO gifted. Let me tell you this, gentle reader. Imagine the worst hangover you've ever had. Now add jet lag. Now amputate both arms and draw with a crayon up your nose. Now apply high voltage to your sensitive bits. You've just drawn something far far superior to the waste-of-dry-erase that she was fawning over. Seriously. They're probably boinking or something... but sheesh she's a moron. AND she's kindof in charge of a bunch of stuff at this place which not only scares me while killing my soul a little, it also just plain defeats my idealistic notion that all people can be smart. Guh.

So yeah, she was a real treat and I was only too happy to suggest that when I finished the two week project at 9:30 this morning (on day 4) that I would be happy to save the company the expense of paying me to wait around while they thought of other stuff to do. I volunteered to take the rest of the day off so that they wouldn't have me lording over them and wasting their pittances. Everybody wins. Well, 'cept I'm not getting paid to write this.

That brings me to my next point though. It had been "a week" since I checked on jobs and I was looking for callbacks to pop up "anydaynow" in my email inboxes. Luckily I had no computer at the temp gig there or they'd still be there carefully explaining to me where the power button was and what the drink holder capacity is. Also luckily I had no access to my emails during this mind-bending time - because you'd have all gotten horribly defeated emails crying for help and the end of the world or something. But anyway, I have sent out loads of "hey, I seem like a good fit, n'est pas?" letters and emails and resumee's and have heard big fat zilch back.

It's like my utter fail recently has somehow gotten me blacklisted and everyone secretly knows now that I'm a cute little bad egg.

Ahh. Self-loathe. Old Friend.

So yeah, I know better. And yeah, "no callbacks" means that it's time I do something brave like drop in at the business and chat up the receptionist while she fumbles around for an application and a business card for HR. And yeah, I should be proactive and call THEM first. Yeah yeah yeah. Still though. Le Suck. You know?

Regardless, I'm still out here... slogging away and fighting the good fight. With a smile on my damn face and everything. See? oh, right. But anyway blah blah blah, temping sucks, the economy is also making people stupid and if I have to go back and work for this empty-headed fruity-pie I think you'll all bear witness to the cartoonishly overdone cloud of GRRR errupting from my forehead.

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