Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Empty Nest

So the Sams are all grown up now - I watched them as they went from scraggly little muppets to teency versions of adult birds. The last time I saw them their yellow, ribbony beaks had grown into the adult black beaks and they were jumping from twig to twig and wildly flapping their arms and stretching their muscles. Going out on limbs, as it were. Stretching their wings, as it were. And then the next day the nest was empty and the family of five was gone. No more morning noises of buggy, fluffy ecstasy. No more soldiering over to the guest bedroom early in the morning to close the window and shut out the chirpy chirpy din. Just - a sad little nest and a sad little telescope pointing at nothing.

I do hear the adult birds still in the neighborhood, and what I'm guessing are the sams. They still make a lot of noise. I miss them, but not in a "stay young forever" kind of way. I just miss being able to peer into the nest and watch them bumble around. I miss the excuse to get away from my desk here at home, to get away from job hunting, to get away from the madness that creeps into my skull with every employment opportunity I see.

I applied for two more openings today, both at the same place where the main squeeze works. It'd be a totally different venue, building, business aspect, and environment, but it's the same company. I also let the other temp agencies know that I'm out here.

And there it is. The gravelly end of this train of thought. I have nothing else to report. Still unemployed. Still climbing the walls. Still trying to not freak out about being unemployed, the wedding, the pending birth of my nieces (which we hope won't be for weeks yet, but don't know for sure), or any of the other hundreds of things that I seem programmed to be uber-fragile and paper-thin about. Dinner? Tonight? Egad I have no idea. Call an ambulance! What to wear? Tomorrow? Egad I have no idea. Call an ambulance! What to think about instead of freaking out? Egad I have no idea. Call an ambulance!

See? I told you there was nothing else to report. Email me and let me know how you're doing. Give me something nice to think about.

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