Results Episode

Wow - How mean am I? All of that zazz and excitement and then NADA until now? Sheesh. Well, gentle reader, I hope you can forgive me as I now begin the long and drawn-out process of dishing.

First and foremost, I REALLY ENJOYED the interview. It was great, in the kind of cold and glassy way an interview can be great. I was all decked out in my chaste little ponytail and a see-how-business-casual-I-am buttondown shirt. The HR rep came down to get me and we chatted for a good half hour. We bonded about HR and why I wasn't a good fit (because I like to emotionally invest myself in my most important projects and whoa that's just such a bad idea for the HR world) and she totally both understood my standpoint and a little bit envied my decision to accept it. Anyway after a brief orientation to the company, to the benefits offered, and to some of the company personality, she summoned the hiring manager. This part was really cool because while I saw clearly that it was a fuss-fuss business kind of place with lots of policy policy policy, there was also a strong "family style" kind of interaction that supported all the fuss. For instance, when the HR rep called the hiring manager, she essentially announced herself formally and then added "so like, are you going to make it in here or what?" all in good fun. THAT did wonders for calming my nerves. All of this stuffy wot-wot formality was wearing me down, and quickly!

The hiring manager came in and we not only chatted and bonded about things absolutely tangential to the actual position, we spoke frankly about the nuts and bolts. She was firm in explaining most of her concerns about new candidates and I was firm about my needs and expectations as well. Like I said - it was a great interview. Yeah, I was probably a little more brazen than most interview coaches would have had me be, and yeah, I probably sputtered and blushed more than I should have... but let's face facts people: this is me here. I ain't got that kinda' smooth and when I try, hiring managers can see through it in a split second. I might as well go in guns blazin' as me, instead of obviously fraudulent me. And it would be so fraudulent.

Anyway, to the chase I shall cut:
Pros:
1) workplace is literally 7.5 minutes away from my garage. and that's not even driving on I-70.
2) workplace would dump me ankle-deep and upside down back in the international environment that I've so sorely missed since... forever.
3) hiring manager is A-Freakin-DORABLE while also being a clearly results-driven hardass. (both stellar qualities in my book)
4) vacation and benefits plans are both strong and generous.

Cons:
1) compensation would be significantly less than my asking price, which is regrettably held pretty solid by things like mortgage and car payments.
2) it would be a hard hard job, with lots of stress and air-traffic-control kinds of deadlines. This con is lessened slightly by the fact that the stress is "get the job done" stress and not "who hates me this week" stress.
3) salary-bumping opportunities like overtime and bonuses are strongly linked to both team and individual performance... so sometimes it won't matter how much I don't suck. (and I could also be responsible for tanking someone else's numbers)(smell that? mmmm pressure)
4) vacations are strictly prohibited during the summer months, which are the busiest months.
5) workplace attire is business casual - meaning I'll pretty much have to burn everything in my closet and start over. HGTV? call me?
6) there will truly be no room for error. That's a tooth-chatteringly terrifying statement, since I'm pretty much entirely composed of three parts lucky idiot to one part clumsy buffoon. That's not self-loathe, that's reality people. You all know this. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to ram my fingers in my ears and pretend this opportunity doesn't exist - it just means, you know, I will have to be uber-vigilant and pretty much OCD about everything. Not outside my grasp, certainly, just a sobering scenario.

And the winner is...

um, if I've learned anything from reality TV, it's that you say things like "the winner is" and then wait two weeks to tell anyone who that winner was. Preferably with lots of important-sounding drum pounding and tight-lipped closeups of the contestants.

I actually don't know who the winner is just yet. I'm going to communicate with the HR Rep today (next) and spell out how awesomely awesome the interview was, how really great I feel about the opportunity, and how by the way could you just go over the whole overtime/bonuses thingy one more time, but oh thank you for your time and gee whillikers apple pie and baseball.

something like that

So wish me luck! and while you're at it, wish the Main Squeeze luck too - since he's right plumb in the middle of his big nasty test today (right now) where he surely faces a room full of brains in jars who will communicate to him telepathically and grill him about the nature of everything in the universe. Probably with track lights and chrome everywhere. Luckily, he made his buttermilk blueberry muffins last night to bring in with him so I think he'll be just fine. And 'cause he's also, like, brilliant and crap.
But wish him luck anyway!