And April starts with "A".
And so does "and".
... and so does "also".
Okay, that horse just died. But seriously here we go into a new month of bloggery challenge. I've done Nanowrimo twice. Now I'm doing this.
Today is my day to tell you all about my choice for the letter "A".
"A" gives us lots of great words.
and of course: Asshole.
Language is something I learned to play with a long time ago. I was probably only About two and a half feet tall when I started laughing alongside my parents as we joked about words, sounds, word placement, pronunciation... You'd think that would have primed me for excellence in Academics, but Alas, it was not to be. Me and school really had a tough go of it right from the get go. SO many other things were so much more interesting than math, penmanship, figuring out whatever the hell SPOT was up to that day...
I suppose I was always smart enough on most levels. I just didn't have the followthrough. You know? I didn't really "get it". I was officially clueless for the first (let's say) 14 years of my life, and then in the dozen years thereafter it was a quick run though the self-loathing hormonal torture chamber that is highschool and beyond. Self Awareness hit me sharply between my brain hemispheres like a badly Aimed headsman's Axe. I learned to underinterpret nothing, continued to misunderstand everything, and failed to really get the hang of Anything until well into my second year in college. In Iowa. As far as I could get from my weency small town in Colorado.
The fresh start suited me, Albeit still largely Awkwardly. But I was in a place finally where the "me"-ness of me wasn't getting in the way of things as much as it used to Anymore. My true nature of fiddly thinking and fondness for wordplay Actually started to serve me properly for once and I studied eastern religions and foreign languages like it was goin' out of style. Frankly, in the nineties, it was.
Now I write (erm, type). I'm far more comfortable in my own sewn-together skin than I've ever been. I'm competent in the things I do; due in large part to my Ability to Acknowledge things I have no business interacting with. I blog, you guys. I write. I have a book out there on Amazon. Isn't that just the coolest thing ever? I've got another little novelly thing here on my desk, too. That's due for the self-publishing treatment in October-ish.
To judge myself now by every standard I had Applied to myself previously, I consider myself a success. Even better, I'm only 36. So I feel like I'm way Ahead of the game. It's unusual, that level of comfort and confidence. But those Are 'c' words, and we don't get to that letter until Wednesday.
My point is this: At the outset of Another writing challenge, one that promises a month of typing, creativity And All manner of Astonishing insights, I have to Admit that I am starting from a place that few others have the privilege of knowing: Self-Assurance. It's going to be messy, and Arduous, and fun and silly, and I KNOW that I am going to Ace this bad boy. Right outta' the park. Because I Already have. Over and Over Again. In so many more ways than even I know.
P.S. my very most special thanks go out today to the founder of the A to Z challenge: a well-rounded character who goes by the name of Arlee Bird. I am, it would appear, in tremendously well-suited company. Huzzah!