SNERK

I went home for the holidays, specifically to my beloved husband’s home, and it was fantastic! We had so much fun. We ate so much good food. We had so much great family time. Museums, gingerbread houses, shopping and food preparation... it was all just SO grand!

Only thing is, there’s still (as I’ve said before) one thing you can get for free on the airlines these days, and that’s SICK! I got sick. Not airsick, this time. No, I got the “You flew flu”. I got the “welcome aboard ear-nose-n-throat airlines cold”. I got the “this is what happens when you sleep with your mouth open brain-ooze”.

*snerk* alas.

See, I took my meds for to avoid the flying-based vomitations we all dread so fiercely, and all that good meds makes me kind of zombie out. You know? I’m sitting there on the plane just stoned as hell and sleepy like a kitten in the sunshine and I just pass the f… I just pass the heck out. That means my corporeal self is on its own for a few hours and it has got a pretty long leash. That means that it just kind of sits there in the seat, clutching whatever it has been given (like a waterbottle), breathing open-mouth-edly at its neighbors, and leaning aggressively against the inhuman contours of the inner airplane walls. Usually with one or both arms at some kind of awkward angle, you know, like the kind of awkward angle that makes you think of Jim Carrey’s Tyrannosaurus Rex impression.

Ahhh. Grace. I has it.

But hey, it was a smooth flight (both ways) and I didn’t get woozy or barf or anything so I put it in the win column. Until, the next morning, I awoke with that “ouch that hurts” sensation in the back of my mouth where the swallowing muscles do their stuff. I was like, “hey! Body! Lame! Who gargled broken glass while I was out?” and my body is acting like that teenager in the back seat of the car making that three note sound that sounds like “I dunno” and “fuck you”.

Where was I? Oh right, Sick. For Christmas. Luckily my family is very understanding, and patient with my zillions of snerks and hronks and the five-ty-thousand billion Kleenexes I used every two minutes and the ten thousand billion gallons of water and soap I used washing my hands every two-and-a-half minutes. My cuticles have never been crackier, ladies and gentlemen. And lizard skin like this takes a lot of dedication.

I has teh SHEXSHY!

But then again, I was home for Christmas. We go home every Christmas, one year to my family, one year to his. We’ve been together long enough that it’s all just family and it’s always home no matter where we end up. We didn’t see much snow, I slept a helluvalot, and I wasn’t my normal perky-kitten self, but it was (for me at least) a perfect holiday and a wonderful jul, and a fantastic solstice, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Well, I’d just change this one thing about the cold. My GAWD could my mouth be any more gross? No, no it could not. I miss breathing through my nose, gentle reader. I miss sleeping through the night and waking up without having to blow my nose a kajillion times for apparently NO GOOD REASON. I miss smelling anything but carmex. I miss that feeling you get in your ears when you haven’t been snoring like a pug-dog for the last week straight (asleep or no!)

But Mostly, I miss my family. I miss the family in Wisconsin even though I just saw them. I miss the family in Tennessee, even though I saw THAT kickass party too! I miss the family in Colorado. I miss people. I miss MY people.

I miss you guys. I miss all y’all. Gentle readers and slavering minions alike. You’re all a big part of me and my every day life even when I’m so far away. Thanks for at least being out there for me. You’re all so awfully good to me. You’ll never understand what it means to have you out there.

Now please excuse me while I go evacuate my brainz again. Bleh.