Oh, let's don't talk about moving today, okay? Let's look in another big hole in my brains.
Below is a correspondence path that took place yesterday between me and my fellow co-workers. You see, I have to pester them (relentlessly) every week to get them to fill out a very simple forecast worksheet. This worksheet is a broad-strokes prediction of their hours for the next work week. The process hasn't changed in over two whole years and they still resist and complain every time I begin the Forecast Wednesday email reminders. Without the reminders, of course, it would never get done.
I thought I'd shake up my campaign a little this week. You can see what happened.
NB: Forecasts are due by noon, every Wednesday. And our highest ranking boss is named Joe.
From Me to the entire office:
Today's the day your worksheets are due.
My goodness! My goodness! I already have two!
Please don't be late, you know what to do.
I'm eager to see a nice worksheet from you!
From Co-worker 1:
Ah yes, indeed it is the day we all dread.
The very thought inflicts pain on my head.
For this I am certain, I will wait til' the end
For consistency's good! Why break my trend?
Is it, indeed, a day you all dread?
Allow me to get my point through your thick head.
The reason you do this, you silly old knob,
Is simply 'cause Joe said it's part of your job!
From Co-worker 2:
[KKF, KKF] my worksheet for you.
Oh my goodnes, now what shall I do?
I'm so eager to please, I won't be late.
Give me a gold star and tell me I'm great!
From Co-worker 3: (delivered at 3:00 pm on 6/29)
Here's the worksheet requested by you.
It's way past noon and sadly long overdue.
Please don't berate as you know how you do.
Enjoy the nice worksheet for Joe and for you.
From me to Co-workers 2 and 3:
You're both so great!
Your forecasts ain't late!
I'm expecting three more
To come past my door.
And that spares you my weekly berate!
Upon hearing that his peers were responding in rhyme, Co-worker 4 begged me to send him a copy of the entire series of submissions so that he could see what was going on. He had not, at this time, submitted his own (wickedly overdue) worksheet but he doesn't respond well to kindly name-calling or public humiliation. So I sent him this:
From me to Co-worker 4:
Because you asked so nicely
I've sent you the poems precisely
As they came to my desk
but I'll spare you the rest
Lest I ask for your forecast twice-ly.
Now, the next day, I'm still missing two. One is on vacation, so that's not happenening. The final one came to me just now, with the following message:
From Co-worker 5:
So I forecasted yesterday but forgot to hit 'send'.
Your lack of persistence was a break in the trend.
Of course blame's on me, who am I to critique?
Not to worry, though, you get another chance next week.
And my response to this kind gentleman:
Concerning your forecast, I guess I thought "Screw it."
"That Engineer-nerd can't be bothered to do it."
So I didn't remind you
Like I usually try to
And now I see you eventually got through it.
* fin *
P.S. I'm going to have to give the kind gentelman, Co-worker #5, the last word:
All this rhyming has been fun. A nice break from the norm
Your wit and creative nature has stayed true to its form.
It will sorely be missed, always delivered with a smirk.
But you're not gone yet. Get the funk back to work.
.......And so I shall.