Monday, January 31, 2011

What a Monday!

All of my sympathies go out to the eastern parts of this great nation, parts which have been innundated in nasty weather for months and are still digging out of brutal snow totals.

Sympathies too, for any who get screwed by freezing rain on a regular basis. Not only has it not snowed much at all in this neck of the woods, freezing rain is nigh unheard of.

Bearing that in mind....

The weather was gorgeous and foggy this morning when I woke up, all surfaces outside were wet but not actually accumulating snow. Kittycat chirped excitedly at me as I let her out of her bedroom and she scolded me for shuffling too slowly into the bathroom.

After a long, hot shower and a long session of brushing the kitty, the temperature outside had dropped 5 degrees. Huge puffs of steam/smoke chased every morning commuter driving out of the neighborhood. The news anchors wrung their hands in excitable terror over today's low: two degrees.

Yesterday was warm and easy, lots of paperwork and housekeeping chores got taken care of. We didn't leave the house. Not even to get the newspaper.

The newspaper, as it turned out, was still waiting for us in the middle of the driveway this morning. You see where I'm going with this?

After breakfast it was time to drive to work. I opened the garage door and greeted the day properly. I had washed my car over the weekend and plowed out the piles of lunch-based trash in the back seat. I was ready for a great week. The paper waved cheerfully at me from the bottom of the driveway.

Rather that drive over the stupid thing, I decided I'd hoof it out there and bring it inside for my beloved husband (since he'll be working at home today). Not two steps out and WHAP I hit concrete like I haven't hit concrete in about ten years. I even slid about a foot down the slope in a graceless spread-eagle. I came to rest somewhere in the middle and congratulated myself on excellent falling technique. Nothing broken. Hands a little marred up but they bore the brunt of the landing and there wasn't a soul in the cul-de-sac to bear witness to my graceless grunt of dismay during the fall. Exhausted over the last few seconds' exertion, I relaxed my very tense neck muscles. LUNK went my skull against the pavement with the jarring echo of an idiot hitting her head on the frozen damned driveway for no good reason.

My headband went sailing down the driveway.

Like bambi, though less adorably, I found my footing and crab-walked myself to a pile of snow on the grass. It was now a game of "hot lava" while I stood on the grass and angled myself over the flesh-hungry driveway to gain purchase on the newspaper and ultimately my headband.

Making it back into the garage I had completed a fresh inventory of damages: conked head (jostled brain?), palms afire with freshly scraped flesh, spine throbbing, elbows pinning, kiester roundly scolding me for my inattention to detail.

Safely back in my car, seatbelt on and all theories of being early to work shattered, it was time to drive on the stuff. As I backed out, the friction-free surface that had spoiled me bore no ill will against my four sturdy tires and I made it out without any further indignity. It wasn't 5 minutes before freezing rain coated my car and all its windows. It took about 15 for the defroster-air to warm up enough to make a difference. It took about an hour to get to work.

Finally, it started snowing for real. I'm no good at this freezing rain crap but the snow outside right now is just delicious! My palms ache, my brains are still a little sore and my neck and spine have seen better days. But good gods, it's snowing out. Real, honest snow.

If I can make it home safely after work tonight, I'll count this as a very good day.

I'll keep an eye out for concussion symptoms too.

No comments: