So let me get this straight. There’s a guy in a position of incredible political power and influence. And this guy has an idea that he’s going to set up a thing where all the school children in the country can hear him. And he’s going to set it up so that he can tell them all at the same time in the courteous, safe, and structured environment of their every day schoolrooms with all of their classmates and teachers close at hand for discussion and brainstorming before, during and after the message is delivered. And this guy has decided that he’s going to set this all up so that he can tell the kids how important it is that they stay in school and work hard and achieve great things.
That bastard. That wicked, evil bastard, clearly spawned from the most rotten gutters of hell.
No really, though, people are pissed about this? Like, fighting in the streets, red faced and arguing, name calling in the city halls and spitting at the news cameras, people are HONESTLY and viscerally pissed off about this? ‘Cause the president wants to say “stay in school, kids”.
Well, to every one of those people – allow me to soothe your jangled nerves by offering the following to your tender and impressionable offspring. Allow me to be the first to tell them, and them alone, that they have no business in school, and should in fact drop out as soon as possible en lieu of diseased procreative activities and simultaneous chemical abuse. Allow me to stand in for one glorious moment and tell your children that the sooner they begin playing with poison, bullets, matches and heavy machinery outside the wickedness and brutal confinement of an educational environment, the better.
That’s the message these angry people want them to receive, isn’t it? It must be.
Oh wait – these people are just super-duper-uber afraid that someone they don’t like might give their kids some advice. Right. They’re seriously pissing in their pants with self-righteous indignation at the idea that an American president whom they did not personally vote for could still be a vaguely positive role model. I get it. I mean, I remember when another president was in the throne for about 8 years and I hated his whole person with every fiber in my being and I also remember that my shame in his every uttered word made me an unpatriotic and evil whore. Oh how clearly I remember being told this on many occasions. Every time my skin bristled at the mispronunciation of words like "nuclear" I was reminded that my own indignation rendered me impossibly ignorant, bothersome, and wasteful of recourses like oxygen that could be better spent on the patriotic, prideful nationalists who REALLY belonged in my country instead of me. Yes I do remember this. Very clearly. I get how people can feel so angry that they don't want their kids exposed to a certain point of view. Really. I get it.
Okay. So maybe the kids shouldn’t start up with the bullets and poison just yet.
But instead, maybe we could all just shut the hell up long enough for these kids to make up their own damned minds about it. Maybe we could let this whole speechy thing take place, and let all the kids hear it... and really let them hear what he has to say? I mean, after all, they’re YOUR kids, right? They’re pretty smart already, right? I mean, you raised ‘em and all… and they love you… and they’re your pride and joy and all… why NOT let them hear what their president has to say? Why not talk about it with them later? Maybe they’ll agree with you after all, maybe they won’t. Isn’t it worth talking about? Any of it? Especially since this guy just wants to say "hey dudes, school can be a drag but it's worth it".
So what in the nine levels of hell is everyone so scared of again?