The other shoe...

I wrote this days ago and forgot to finish it/post it. Still relevant though.

Gods, wedding #1 was perfect. It was the PERFECT kind of perfect that I always tell myself isn't worth attaining because frankly it'd make me loose my fragile little mind. It was perfect though. Wedding #1 was exactly what girls think of when they sit in their rooms and dream of a perfect wedding. Strapless gown, mushroom hair, sparkling tiara crown and long veil outshined only by the intricately embroidered train of the billowing skirt.

Within I think 48 hours of their wedding, they were on a plane to Hawaii on their honeymoon.

I’ve wrestled with jealousy for most of my life. I get jealous easily over stupid stuff like socks, hair styles, house locations… you get the idea. Today, I’m REALLY wrestling with it. I had the perfect wedding too – and as much as this wedding was every American girl’s sparkling dream come true, my own wedding was MY dream come true. I regret nothing in that department. I do, however, miss that magical voyage-a-deux: the honeymoon. Grinning newlyweds, still sparkling from ear to ear, tumbling happily out of the airport and checking immediately into their dreamy hotel suite… spending lazy mornings eating exotic fruit breakfasts by a beach and walking aimlessly through the wilderness – holding hands all the while – for the rest of the day… finally collapsing into bed at night to dream of the future and just relax and enjoy being in the same room together, alone, at last.

Now as a rule, I’m a cold weather girl. I’m a snuggle-under-the-blankets in front of the fire kind of girl. My groom is, too (though he's a dude). I’m not sure why I’m so jealous of the idea of the tropical island escape chock full of sunscreen, bugs, and sand in the cheerios - except to say that it’s probably more the escape that I long for instead of the location. I don’t think we’d hate Hawaii, odds are we’d love it. Might even get lucky and not get violently airsick on the way there.

I guess I just want my honeymoon. I’m a selfish, spoiled child and I got my very best dream come true and by the gods I want the matching silver slipper. I already have my happily ever after. I do. I love it and I don’t want to change it for anything, but I DO want to get away with my husband and I want to do it while we can still be considered newlyweds. We’ve known each other for almost 13 years now. Let's face it: most of the magic has been wrung right out of that little hankie – and yet we’re still newly married and I really can’t stand the thought of letting that just slip away unnoticed and uncelebrated.

What an absurdly entitled thing to hanker for - and how silly to be hung up on the word "honeymoon". I suppose this is my private version of the quest for the perfectly lavender napkin though. It also bears mentioning that it's also not out of reach entirely... just on hold for now. Finances, family, and impossibly timed holidays are all making the newlywed getaway a backburner issue for us this year. I hate that. I loathe the idea that we'll miss it. Does it still count if you get married in 2008 and do the getaway 2 years later? Isn't that just a vacation?

Technically... honeymoon is the month after getting married. Also technically, m'lady bride isn't supposed to get to wear white if she's... ya know... worldly. I wore white and silver. My groom and I both are/were pretty worldly. Maybe we can bend the honeymoon rule too.